Wednesday, July 12, 2017

I'm about to get real which y'all

Tonight I meandered into my little arthuradventure world... I clicked on the account management page (only for me) to be let into a plethora of information I didn't know was recorded by good ole Blogger.

Did you know I can know how many page views this site gets... per day? per week? per year?

And which specific ones???

Mind. blown.

It was sorta cool at first. STATS! Fun STATS!

Most of the pageviews as of late had concentrated around recent posts. Which, again, seemed sorta cool. Relevancy! It indicates that folks might be reading posts IN REAL TIME as I write them because there's something... ANYTHING... relevant in them. Yay.


I found it curious that I had had a couple posts from 2007 and 2008 pop up on this week's page view list.



And then I filtered the pageview totals to list the blog posts that have accumulated the most page views... not in the past day or past week or past month... but "OF ALL TIME." Those same two oddball posts were listed at the top (from 2007 and 2008). The most popular one had been viewed 13,180 times. THIRTEEN THOUSAND times. This is TWELVE THOUSAND more times than the next most popular post.

Oh God... now I have to tell you why.

I'm queasy. And my mouth is dry.

It's because it had a picture, in his plastic outdoor pool, of my naked little toddler boy at age 1.

I like to find the light and happy in most of life's gook. But this is simply something to which I cannot bring even the remotest amount of levity.

The title of the post: "Naked Boy, Cowboy, and Cousin Boy"

I'm sick. And outraged. And mad at the world wide web. And mad at search engines that allow for pedophile phraseologies to be entered. And mad at myself...mad that, I've just remembered,  I was warned years ago by a commenter about that baby pic and that I dismissed it as paranoia. I'm mad that a person's sexual associations can be so F-ed up and distorted and upside down that my baby is a victim.

And I made him one.

Never again.

Please be careful about what you post. My take away. And I must say, I will pray harder tonight and in coming days for a restoration in the individuals who contributed to those 13,000 hits. And millions of others who are hiding (or not) a very, very dark part of their inner makeup.

I'm sad.

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