Thursday, February 14, 2008

Big Lots and Ironing

Yesterday was a fascinating day...
On top of its signifigance detailed in the lat post, I also did some relatively ordinary tasks. They transformed to extraordinary in unusual ways.

Let me start with ironing. Scott typically gets his dress shirts dry cleaned and pressed professionally. We decided recently to toy with the idea of laundering them on our own - save money, and HEY, that's one of the tasks a stay-at-home-wife/mom can own, right? So there they sat, like 13 shirts on the ironing board... for 2 weeks. The poor guy beat around every last bush to insinuate that IF I DIDN'T QUIT PROCRASTINATING AND IRON THE DARN THINGS HE WAS GOING TO HAVE TO ASK PEOPLE FOR MONEY AT WORK BEAR-CHESTED. He was so cute about it, not wanting to make me feel like his maid.

So yesterday, I finally turned on the iron. Step 1. Then I found a pluthera of other fun chores to assomplish while I waited for it to get hot... painted my toenails, emptied the dish washer, tidied Jackson's toys. Finally, I reentered the basement scene and faced the daunting task of ironing mind-numbingly. After drudging through shirt one, I revamped my thinking...Wait, why is mind-numbing bad? Why does it have to feel confining to stand in one place concentrating all one's efforts on menial labor? Could this be a useful use of my time? And then I started humming. And then I started praying about the people I love who need love right now. And then I started admiring each finished product - sharp, smooth men's shirts all lined up - and I mean to tell you, I wanted MORE. Bring it on, ironing! When else do you have permission to be brainless in one place, where thoughts can come and go as they please? Running on the treadmill at the gym is another example, but there are people in biker's shorts that distract you there. I learned that ironing was great God-time. For all those out there who loathe ironing - just shift your mental goggles. You, like me, might have success in "tricking" yourself into believing it's enjoyable! So, there's one ordinary chore turned extraordinary.

Big Lots. I love that place. I know, I know. It's a big tacky. And even their top-of-the-line featured items are less than quality. But come on, who can beat it for little gag gifts or random treasures or fun surprises? Did I mention I love that place?

Yesterday I was doing a bit of shopping there and, unbeknowst to me, the place was clearing out. So there I am with Jackson in the cart, un-rushedly bee-bopping my way to the cash-register only to discover a police officer hanging out with the sales clerk. In my oblivious fashion, I just assumed it was a security dude Big Lots must've hired. That is, until I heard the cop whisper to the clerk, nodding towards me, "Is she the last one?" Turns out, the place was shutting down after I left. Also turns out, there were three other cops lingering near the doors and several cop cars haphazardly parked up on the sidewalk outside the joint... like they had RUSHED there. And, just moments earlier, I had spent four whole minutes deciding whether to get Lemonade Crystal Light or Raspberry Ice. Who knew they had themselves a little "incident" sometime during my visit, as the clerk informed me? The darndest things can happen in the darndest places. Needless to say, I darted to my car after exiting the place. I still haven't found "the rest of the story" in the newspaper. KK thinks there may have been a drug bust. She clearly never had faith in Big Lots like I did. And now mine is beginning to dwindle. Should I sniff my Crystal Light powder before mixing it up?

Enough of my God-filled ironing and crime-filled errand-running. Don't I live an exciting life?


devaneygirlstill said...

When they said "cleanliness" is next to Godliness, (forgive my misspellings) they must have meant ironing!

Lepus said...

Buying hair care products is always funny at Big Lots because they always have tons of conditioner.......BUT NEVER ANY SHAMPOOOO!!!

-cue mysterious X-Files music-

I mean, really. That is up there with Area 51.