Saturday, November 17, 2007

11/16 a Tough One

Yesterday it was easy to be happy. For many reasons.

My dear friend KK turned 30 last week and so her friends "kidnapped" her to a Hocking Hills cabin for some fun and fellowship (and good eating and hot-tubbing). We returned yesterday afternoon... and then re-kidnapped her last night for a fanstastic dinner at Cap City Diner with friends. It was very joyous.

But in the silence of my quiet moments, I felt sad. For many reasons. Yesterday marked 3 weeks, to the day, since Duncan died and 5 months, to the day, since Mom died. These two "anniversaries" colliding on the same day left me feeling very melancholy later in the evening. And I think it has carried over to today.

But there will be many more days like this to come. And I need to prepare myself for them, lean into them, be OK with them, and not resist them. The holidays are going to feel very new and different this year. I think I am just now starting to understand that as well. I never thought I would be "that person" so many churches and grief groups refer to when they make mention of how hard the holidays are for "some" people. Weird.

2 comments:

MissRebecca said...

I am so sorry sweetie. I cannot imagine the unbelievable ups and downs you are experiencing. Hold tight to your faith and I pray each day for you, Scott and Jackson to find the peace and happiness you so much deserve.

Please feel free to call, email - whatever!! Cassie would love to meet Jackson for a playdate:)

aubregary said...

I continue to check your website daily and am in awe of you and your husband's strength. I continue to pray for you and your family...for peace and strength especially as the holidays approach. Hold tight to your precious family and they will get you through. Jackson is so adorable and I very much enjoy the pics of him and watching him grow! Have a blessed Thanksgiving.

Love, Aubre, Gary and Noah