Will..

So I am learning that my son has one. I was beginning to think mine was the only one that mattered. At Jackson's 9 month check up on Monday (that's right, he turned 9 months on SUNDAY!), Dr. McClellan placed Jackson on his back to do a routine examination. Jackson proceeded to throw a hissy fit. I commented to Doc, as small talk, that Jackson had begun throwing crying fits when we laid him down to change his diaper or any time we placed him in his back. I posed that it might be because he thinks he'd being laid down for a nap??? Dr. McClellan responded with, "Maybe, but I'm betting it's a control issue." I interpretted that to mean, "Jackson has increased bodily control and that means he knows what he wants his body to do and what he doesn't want his body to do. Therefore, Jackson will forever until the end of time exercise his control of his surroundings... let the battle begin between his will and yours as his mother...from this day forward you will need to come up with strategies, positive reinforcement methods, negative reinforcement methods, tricks, bribery, and reverse phsychology to get the little tike to do what it is you would like for him to do BECAUSE GONE ARE THE DAYS THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO THINK AS A PARENT!!!!"

By the end of Monday, I had begun observing several other examples of Jackson having an increasingly forceful will. Example 1) (this is gross) I have a habit of picking at Jackson's ears. I like them to be clean, and therefore a little wax build-up is sometimes needing removed. Whereas before he'd sit there and just TAKE IT, Monday he spun his neck around with force and pulled back to avoid my efforts (I mean, who REALLY can blame him?). Example 2) I am convinced that telephones are a child's favorite plaything. It used to be that Jackson would observe the phone up to my ear and reach for it. But, acknowledging that it wasn't an easy target to get ahold of, he would find an equally stimulating plaything and "forget" the phone. On Monday, and henceforth, the kid will part the Red Sea to get to my stinkin phone. When I "hide" it, he looks at me in a "Yeah, right Mom... ya think I'm stupid? Didn't you hear the doc today telling you I have wants and desires TOO now?" -way and persists to grab at, snatch, at and fuss until he gets control of it.

I'm screwed.

Motherhood has stopped being a walk in the park. Now it's become a carefully strategized balance of when Jackson wins and when Mommy wins. And the awefulest thing about that is that I HAVE TO MAKE DECISIONS. I liked not making decisions. Before, all I had to do was change his diaper when he stunk, shove food in him when he was hungry, and plop him in the crib when he needed sleep. Now his needs have intensified... beyond the basic ones, there is now the need for discipline and being told "no."

You know I'm intentionally being overly flippant about this whole topic. The reality is that the beauty of parenting is at my doorstep - the part where I, with God's help, begin helping to mold the little guy into the man he will one day become. It's amazing to me that we've already arrived at that place. Daunting, but exciting!!!