More pics of the boys

Big 5 month old

Taken Aug 20th

Seriously... 5 months? Yes, the kid DOES smile, but these days he spend 99.9% of his awake time with his fingers/fist in his mouth - as pictured. We have a little tooth poking up from the bottom! Sullivan is such a cool dude. He is content doing WHATEVER. He is incredibly ticklish under the chin (both of them.. ha!) and giggles till he pees his pants when we touch there. Another sure-fire way to make the kid laugh: have Jackson dance in front of him. That's a hoot. Sullivan loves standing, much better than laying down. He sleeps like a BABY on his belly. He is INSTANTLY jolly in the bath, splashing up a storm. He loves watching Lilly the cat. And he just started BARELY being able to hold his bottle. The kid is getting LONG, now completely filling out 6-9 month clothes. WE LOVE YOU, VAN!

Scotty's marathon training

My hubby is running a marathon! He has been training with three coworkers now for a couple months, and our fam will be traveling to Chicago the weekend of Oct 11 to cheer him on. I'm very proud of his hard work - it's no easy feat to put that many miles in and still have a "I'm ready to rough house on the floor with my toddler and make silly, animated faces to my baby" attitude at home too! Poor guy is exhausted!!! But he's totally psyched to beat his 4 hour goal (and is even tinkering with the idea of beating my marathon time... he's treading on this ice, if he does!!!).

Below are pictures from this past weekend's half marathon race in Rochester. Their long run was scheduled to be an 18 miler for Sat. So - get this - they ran 5 miles prior to the start for the race... then went on to complete the 13.1 mile half!!! That's NUTS! Jackson was more interested in the grass, bugs, and cow bells than watching his Daddy finish... but then again, he's TWO. We're proud of you, Daddy!

Paul and Scott

Jackson and Truman, son to fellow running buddy of Scott's, running around a tree

Ellie, Cameron, and Truman being talked to by Jackson while waiting for the finish


The crew: Scott, Heidi, Paul, and Troy

I got "hushed" today

On the way to the grocery store this morning, Jackson was entertaining himself with an Elmo book (the kind with those cool buttons on the side that make noises to accompany the story). RESPECT came on the radio, one of my FAVORITES, and I cranked the volume up singing my little heart out. I heard Jackson protesting something from his car seat, but I couldn't hear him and I didn't care : I was IN THE MOMENT with my solo.

When he raised his voice and got a little red in the face, I understood:

"Hush, Mommy. Hush! PEES!"

The little dude couldn't hear his Elmo buttons.

It's the first time I haved been "hushed" by my child... a probably not the last. I've heard those little monsters called teenagers (sorry teenage readers!) say things like "shut up" to their parents.

For now, I am pretty happy with "Hush, Mommy" and especially happy with the "Pees." At least the kid's got manners.

What Jackson did most of today

Jackson received this cool walking dinosaur from his cousin Andrew as a hand-me-down (LOVE THOSE!). I finally got batteries in it today and waahlaah - hours of entertainment. I guess he's never had a toy that walks... because, you woulda thought it was the best thing since sliced bread. It plods along at a pace of about .000000000001 mile an hour. So it makes perfect sense that Jackson would place it at one end of the room and place himself ALL THE WAY at the other on his belly with his hands out... just waiting for it to make the journey. The picture above was after he wised up and reduced the distance dramatically. We'll see if the novelty sticks around tomorrow. Ahh, to be a toddler.

KK, notice the WAY-AWESOME-WATERBOTTLE!!!

Pictures for your enjoyment!

Yummy edible necklace!
I PROMISE... Jackson was just providing a friendly grip, NOT a death grip strangle. :)

Jackson and Mommy chillin on da boat

This about sums it up: GOOFY ALL THE TIME

Like father like son: SLOPPY SLEEPERS

Never do I find Jackson or Scott in the same, or even similar position when they wake up as when they laid down... hence the perpendicular arrangement here (Jackson pulled a 4:00am stunt on us and we caved to allow him in with us at that time... that about ended my sleep for the night with TWO moving and a squirming and a kicking (ok, that last one was Jackson only!).

August 13th

Today makes for some emotions.

Sullivan is four months and 24 days old. Today was the day in Duncan's life that he left us. I have been thinking about this day for some time... did the math a few weeks ago, because I knew it was approaching.

And I just can't believe it.

I cannot believe that I could ever have lost a child. I think about Sullivan and what in the world I would do if I lost him today. Ahh, I lose it just pondering that possibility. How did we go through that? I mean, I know the answer to that question: One step at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time. And yet it feels so impossible that it ever happened.

The pain of Duncan's death has become less and less unbearable. Scott and I talk about our dear boy from time to time, and I take moments to think about him every time I peer out my kitchen window to view the dogwood tree we planted here in Rochester (similar to the one my girlfriends planted at the Park of Roses in Clintonville, OH). I often wonder: "Am I different enough as a result of Duncan's place in my life? Do I honor him enough?" These thoughts are immediately followed by, "I feel like I should be wiser as a result of having been Duncan's mother." I know that sounds like a weird one... difficult to explain... It's like I feel like I should have an "older soul" about me: listening more, talking less, better judgement, knowing the right things to say and when to say nothing at all... Like I should be more grown up. I know I learned infinite lessons through Duncan's life and death - and now I just want to use THEM ALL. Am I making ANY sense?

Anyway, today makes me feel so incredibly grateful for the two kiddos I have with me, and incredibly grateful for the one kiddo I don't have with me, but who forever changed me.

Mommy! Daddy! Bawoon ent out indow!!!

Those were the words my eldest child uttered (more like EXCLAIMED!) as the bright blue ball of helium left the car through the gaping opening (Jackson had just requested that his be opened moments before - and his absent-minded mom completely spaced about the fact that there was a balloon in the car. OOPS!).

It was his longest sentence on record. Scott, who we were picking up from work, and I just couldn't get over it. I think the spirit and energy with which he said it was just as cute as the sentence itself. Surprisingly, we didn't experience any tears... just exclamation, like something novel had just happened!

Jackson's learning curve is so incredibly steep right now. Each day, he comes up with something new and incredible. It is SOOO fun to be apart of all this growth!

The good ole Lentz's

We lucked into knowing these fine folks while in Cleveland, OH. John married us and Deanne was present at Columbus Children's Hospital the day Duncan died. Their family means worlds to us... they were able to stop by briefly on the way home from a family trip. WHAT A TREAT! Note John's b-day. The big 3-5 (yeah).

John talking Sullivan to sleep

Deanne spent her time offering 2-year-old entertainment!

We sat around the table talking/eating for a GOOD 3 hours... then s'mores for another hour. Love that.

KK

I have a dear, sweet friend named KK. She and I met the summer before my first year at Otterbein College at a meet-n-greet Cross Country gathering. That was in 1997. A dozen years later (almost to the day), she visited me here in Rochester, MN. Who woulda known we'd be lifer friends?

KK and Jackson working on the project she brought for him: a garden lady bug!


The finished product!

The infamous tent

I got this puppy for $5 at a yard sale. FIVE DOLLARS! It's in great shape and will contain MANY memories yet to come. It already has, actually, as Jackson liked eating his afternoon snack in the screened porch last week.

A dream

What a dream to get to do this every day...

Scott normally does the night time reading and I do the pre-nap time reading. I mean, REALLY, when I get stuck tallying all there is to do in a day, THIS is what matters to me the most. What a lucky gal I am.